


Reassurance

by Jester85



Series: Conversations [4]
Category: Actor RPF
Genre: Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Long-Distance Relationship, M/M, i guess?
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-25
Updated: 2018-04-25
Packaged: 2019-04-27 13:34:18
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 842
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14426496
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Jester85/pseuds/Jester85
Summary: Haz doesn't want to be That Guy.  Nobody likes That Guy.But in the end, he's only human after all.





	Reassurance

Harrison doesn't want to be That Guy.

Nobody likes That Guy.

But in the end, he's only human after all.

Is he happy for Tom?  Of course he is.  Is he proud?  Of course he is.

Does it suck that lately he feels like the most interaction he has with his boyfriend is liking each other's posts on Instagram and watching him jet around the world, rocketing from Seoul to China to Jimmy Kimmel?

It sucks bollocks.

In his weak, traitorous moments, Haz feels kind of single.

In his weak spiteful bitchy moments, he feels like, while Tom loves him, he's beginning to love the spotlight more.

He doesn't _actually_ believe it ~~much.~~

He guesses he just believed it even less when he got to go with Tom on all his crazy jet-setting adventures, instead of following along on Instagram.

But he's had his own stuff to do, his road trip with Bluey, and modeling bespoke suits for Josh, and he's totally not doing it to fill the Tom-shaped void in his current life, and none of that is Tom's fault, and hell, they're moving in together.  He's moved his embarrassingly large and colorful assortment of summer clothes in, some of which he's been modeling in the backyard for his Instagram story, and the other day he went out to get _milk_ , and he will not be That Guy.

He.  Will.  Not.  Because he is not that pathetic.

Except he kind of is, and Tom notices one day on one of their increasingly infrequent Skype sessions, Harrison's answers a little too terse, a little snippy, on edge, and Tom picks up on it because Tom knows him better than he knows himself.

"What's wrong, babe?"

Haz realizes the term of endearment has caught him a little offguard.  But Tom's eyes are so fucking earnest and sincere, looming large on the screen, and he can't help but sigh and run a hand through his hair.

"It's nothing."

"It's not nothing if it's upset you Haz, now what's wrong?"  For as gentle of a person as Tom is, he can also be a bossy little shit sometimes.

Haz's face is pinking and he's looking anywhere but the screen when he mumbles, "I miss you."

"Hey, preaching to the choir here," Tom shoots back with an expansive wave around himself, and for some reason it strikes Haz as a false equivalence.

"Yea but it's not the same, is it?"  And Christ, his tone sounded harsher than he'd intended, and Tom blinks, not used to Haz snapping at him in earnest, when they're not taking the piss out of each other.

"What's not the same?" his boyfriend asks, and now Tom sounds confused.

Great.  Now he's gotten himself into the position of trying to articulate his shit.

"I just...I feel like I don't have you anymore," Haz grinds out, more pissed at himself than at Tom, head down and ears red.

On the screen, Tom's eyes are soft and concerned and way too earnest.  "You have me every minute," he says in that soft voice he gets when they're having one of these mushy leveling moments.

"Yea, I know," Haz mumbles, sounding unconvincing even to himself.

"Hey," Tom is saying firmly, the screen wobbling and then righting itself as he obviously plucks his laptop up from wherever it's sitting and sets it on his lap, "I'm doing all of this to get back to you, okay?  _You_ are still the most important thing to me."

Tom's eyes and voice are firm and certain, and Haz looks back.  His heart settles a bit.  "I know," he says, and this time it doesn't sound painfully sarcastic.

"The premiere's tonight and then I will be coming home to you, Haz," Tom promises in that voice, so sure, and _fuck_ if Haz's eyes aren't stinging a little and _God_ he feels so pathetic. 

They don't do this.  They don't make big productions out of reassuring themselves about things they already _know._

But he's only human, after all.

"I'll be sure to give you a warm welcome home, mate," he says, and it tries to sound suggestive but ends up wobbling over into sounding like he's about to cry like a little girl.

Tom doesn't push him, though he still looks a little concerned.  "You better not have taken over my closet with all your bespoke Kingsman shit, by the way."

Harrison bursts out a surprised laugh, a little watery but feeling some of the tension evaporate.  "It's not my fault if your wardrobe is utter bollocks and in dire need of an upgrade."

"Maybe we'll go shopping when I get home," Tom says, and it's veiled to spare Harrison's sudden onset of neediness, but the thought makes Harrison grin.  Time with Tom.  And _home._ Tom coming home.  To _their_ home.

But he still has a little dignity to uphold, so he sweeps a hand through his hair again and slips his shades on and smirks at the camera, though it can't quite disguise the fondness. 

"Sounds like a plan."

 

 


End file.
